As part of his full-service approach to wedding planning, Sanford Marshall says he refers clients to florists, photographers and financial planners.
Planning a wedding "is the first telltale sign of how the couple views money and the first scenario for there to be conflict," says Marshall, owner of the Wedding Coach in San Francisco.
"If they have a limited budget and a choice between upgrading their wine, their invitations or getting better centerpieces, that really helps them to prioritize. It forces them to have collaboration and a compromise," he says. It gives them "a taste of what's to come."
After seeing friends, relations and even some clients divorce, in large part over money, Marshall has been advising engaged couples to talk about things like budgeting and joint-versus-separate checking accounts before the big day. If they don't have a financial planner, he will refer them to one.
Martha Shaughnessy insisted on seeing a financial planner with her fiance before getting married in San Francisco this weekend. "We did not want to go into any debt for the wedding and we set up a really, really strict budget for ourselves," she says. The planner helped with that and longer-term spending issues.
"Like a lot of couples, his purchases tend to be less frequent but much bigger, while mine" are smaller but more often, she says. "We each had the impression the other spends a lot more money." With the help of a planner, she says, "we were able to talk about things that usually come in a stressful moment," before that moment arrived.
Credit cards
Following are some tips to help newlyweds and soon-to-weds plan their financial futures. In Tuesday's column, I'll have more information focusing on assets and debts.
-- Check each other's credit reports: If your betrothed can't manage debt, better find out before the wedding. Withholding this information from each other is like "financial infidelity," says John Ulzheimer, president of consumer education at SmartCreditcom.
You can get a free copy of your report from each of the three credit bureaus every 12 months at annualcreditreport.com.
Red flags that deserve serious discussion include large credit card balances, late payments, collection accounts and - worst of all - bankruptcies, foreclosures, court judgments and tax liens.
After marriage, you each will still have your own credit report showing accounts in your names. The credit reports will not be commingled (unless by mistake), Ulzheimer says.
He urges couples who have credit cards coming into a marriage to keep them separate. If you add yourself as a co-signer or joint account hold to your spouse's credit card, you become legally responsible for that debt.
-- Changing your name? Notify the Social Security Administration so your name will match your Social Security number on your next tax return. For instructions, see sfg.ly/MDeTR9, call (800) 772-1213 or visit a local office.
Tax-filing status
-- Choose your new tax-filing status. If you are married at the end of the year, you will be considered married the whole year for tax purposes and you must file your federal and state returns as married filing jointly or married filing separately. Most couples file joint returns.
Filing separately rarely saves money unless one spouse has certain large deductions, such as for medical expenses or casualty losses. If you and your spouse file a joint return, you are each legally responsible for both of your taxes.
If you file separately, you are only liable for your share. If you think your spouse is a tax cheat or might flee the country, consider filing separately. Or better yet, call off the wedding.
In California, married same-sex couples and registered domestic partners can file a state tax return together, but they must file their federal tax return as two single people.
However, such couples must split their community property income on their federal tax return 50-50. Because of the differences in federal and state law, same-sex couples should consult an accountant.
Marriage penalty
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